Saying goodbye to my Dad

When Mom first told me that there was a chance my father's cancer might have come back, on a hunch, I thought it would be a good idea to come back to Michigan for father's day to see him. My pops was mentally sharp, active, and for a guy in his 70s, still strong as an ox. The doctors said it could be liver cancer (50% of living more than 5 years) or pancreas (only 5% chance). Even when we found out that it was pancreas cancer, I somehow thought he would still beat it. He's done it before with prostate cancer, and historically, my family is filled with miracle workers. (my mom wasn't supposed to live past 41, my sister, 26, and my other sister who has MS is supposed to be wheelchair bound by now, and she's not).

 Little did I know however that pancreas cancer is the most aggressive and dangerous form of cancer out there. It took less than 10 days from diagnosis to take him away from us, and all of us were left in a state of shock.

 Although he didnt make it to Father's Day, (he passed the night before) he managed to hang on long enough for me to get home to see him. My sister moved her wedding ceremony to the very next day, and we had the wedding bedside, so all he had to do was say, "I do." Even as weak as he was, he said it in a loud and strong voice that everyone could hear. With that, he gave her away as the bride, flashed a huge smile and then a few hours after that, with all 6 of his kids and all 9 of his grandchildren around him, on a warm, sunny, beautiful day with deer playing in the backyard, he peacefully and painlessly passed away. Usually pancreas cancer is extremely painful, but because of the way that my Dad's spread through his system, it was totally painless. He passed quickly without having to become a vegetable and even if he was weak, stayed alert and joked until the very end. Aside from one morning thunderstorm that came and went in a matter of hours, the weather stayed more or less perfect all the way up to his funeral one week later.

Roses that not only bloomed right before my Dad returned from the hospital,
but that also grew to be tall enough for him to see them from his 2nd story bedroom window before he passed. 

 In one respect, as hard as it was to see him go, I really feel like he went out in the best way that he could have, and Im grateful that I got to share as much time as I did with him. Even if he won't be here to see me do my best work in this industry, I am grateful that he was here long enough to see me get a magazine cover, to become an established player and even to do a TV show together.

While this trip home meant losing an awesome comedic movie role (playing a brotha working in a Japanese burger shop), and also being written out of the final episodes of ATARU (something I anticipated would happen when I booked the tickets), I am so so so glad I took that chance at going home.

 Getting to actually see and be a part of his passing (not to mention my best friend's graduation from medical school, my nephew's graduation open house from high school, and his funeral was not only worth the money of the flight, it was worth loosing the work as well. I've heard of a lot of entertainers who lost their loved ones while committed to a project, and I'm really glad that I didn't have to be one of them. Love and miss you Dad. You'll always be my hero.

http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20120619/NEWS01/306190036/Okemos-man-remembered-leader-advocate