Finding your way to success...with or without anyone's help: To Chase a Dream or Play it Safe Part 4

Success is a lot like running;
It only happens with a conscious and continuous
effort to move forward.

Lateef Crowder, who is probably the most famous Capoeirista in the world right now, started learning from his father, when he was old enough to walk. Andrew Shinn, a personal friend of mine (and US national Taekwondo champion at around 12 years old) also learned from his father (my own teacher, who was also a national Taekwondo champion). Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estavan are also both the children of famous Hollywood actor, Martin Sheen. Angelina Jolie made her first screen debut as a young girl alongside her father, who was also an actor. Donnie Yen, first started learning Kung Fu under his mother, who was a grandmaster. This is one of the things that no one tells you when you set out to chase a huge dream- most people who become extremely successful in something were born into networks where someone has already done it. At least in part, this is why within their lifetime they can go much farther than the rest of us. This is also why we occasionally see those people who seem to have no talent or sense of what they are doing in amazing positions. What for you is a distant dream, for them is an occupational path.

This does NOT however mean that you can't make it on your own. Lots of people do. Some people make it because they manage to get themselves into just the right place at just the right time, and they get "the big break". There is a saying that luck is nothing more than when opportunity meets preparation, and those who get the "big break" are perfect examples of that. They keep themselves in shape, and at the top of their game, and when that once in a lifetime chance comes, they are completely prepared to grab it, and run with it. And as long as they stay at the top of their game, and keep sharp, they continue to soar and succeed throughout their careers. Jason Statham is a prime example of this. He was only cast in his first role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels because had actually had experience as a dealer on the black market. Even so though, he was in excellent shape, he did everything right, and now he's a top billed martial arts action star. (Despite the fact that he'd never actually done martial arts before- before his film career took off, he was actually an Olympic Diver).

Others, (like myself) find success by taking small steps at a time that eventually add up. I started as an martial arts extra in a Godzilla movie. Initially, having zero experience in the film industry, I made all kinds of mistakes...but always did a good enough job that I would get called back for another job. ...and the more experience I gained, naturally the better I got at what I did, the less mistakes I made, the more referrals I got to other directors, the more exposure I got, etc, and it all simply adds up over time. While I may not be super famous as an actor, I am currently working as a key player in one year project with a budget of over $60 million, and as such, I feel like I can call myself "successful" in my field.(Please dont ask me about it yet though- my contract I cant publically talk about it until release).

For those on this path, your ability to self-promote and network are absolutely essential. As one of my first business mentors told me, (an Internet marketing guru who I was blessed to have as a lifting partner at the gym) "[When you are starting off] No one is ever going to do your promo for you. You have to sell and promote yourself."

If you do not know how to do that however, fear not, because the most powerful tool known to man is lying in wait for you: the written word. Insomuch as I've seen, one of the biggest differences between people who make it big and people who don't is that successful people are often readers. This is the case for a myriad of reasons. 1) Because books give you access to the wisdom of those who have already made it. You can read their thoughts, understand how their minds might work the same (or differently from your own) and compare their experiences with yours. In order for me to find success, I've read dozens and dozens of books written by and/or about successful people, so I can compare and contrast. In doing so, I didn't have to waste a lot of time through trial and effort to find the best ways to make things happen. I can just see how they did it, and follow suite. Additionally, when I would run across hard times, I could compare how I felt with how they felt, and their general path or timeline with my own to measure my progress.

The other big reason to be a reader is because successful people usually all know the same kind of stuff, because they ALL READ THE SAME BOOKS. Successful business people have usually all read authors like Tim Ferris, Malcolm Gladwell or Robert Kiyosaki to name just a few. Great actors have all read, "An Actor Prepares" by Stanislavsky. As such, when you meet them, instead of sounding ignorant, if you read all the books they read, you can talk to them on their level, and as a function of that, they can see you as an equal. As a function of that, they will in-turn, share their networks with you, because they know you are smart enough and educated enough to not embarrass them. Beyond that, this also means that when you speak to them, you can talk to them in ways that are mutually beneficial, and you can shoot ideas off of each other.

In the case of one of my chief mentors, (who owns a business called English Adventure that has grown and expanded for every year of its existance) his bookshelves are stocked full of books related to things he needs to know for his business, and every time we meet, (even just casually) we have amazingly meaningful information exchanges. Even if his business isn't directly related to what I do, I can honestly say that these casual exchanges have helped me to better myself and improve my success rate in ways that never could have happened otherwise. The same also goes for my mentors in acting, directing, production, and of course, my first marketing mentor from the gym, Lance, who seemed to appreciate the fact that I read pretty much every book he suggested to me.

Anyway, the point that I am making is that success isn't a function of a single character trait, and there are multiple ways to find success. Some people make it because they are extremely aggressive, others because they are unusally talented, others because they are really smart, still others because they are extremely good with people, or any combination in between. In terms of finding your own path to success, you should not feel frustrated because things seem to be happening in a certain way for your competitors, because the way you find success may be a different path all together. As I have read time in time again in business books, don't worry about how the competition is doing. Just do you.