10 Ways You Know You Are the Parent of a Toddler.

With my son Ty just after his 3rd birthday. 

So, after posting my last blog on my trip to Australia, I noticed and re-read another blog I had written just after my son was born, called 10 Thoughts I Had While Watching my Son's Birth. Coincidentally, my son has just turned 3, which means it's been almost exactly three years since I wrote that. As such, and given how much has changed since then, (my son is now a toddler) , I thought it might be time for my next "Daddy" post. For those who are still taking care of babies, here, my friends, is what you have to look forward to.

10 Ways you know you are the parent of a toddler: 

10. When the fresh box of tissues you put on the kitchen table in the morning has been replaced with a massive pile of crumbled tissues by the afternoon... and or tissue shreds... everywhere.

9. When the same thing happens to the fresh roll of toilet paper you put in the bathroom.

8. When you say to your wife:

"Yeah, he has diarrhea. But don't worry, he's good. I already changed his clothes, and diaper and flushed the poo down the toilet."

and she responds:

"Oh my God!!! That's the sexiest thing you've ever said!!!

7. When your son takes a massive dump in his diaper, and you are so proud of his man-sized turd that your wife has to stop you from sharing photos of it on social media.

6. When it's 5:00am and your son thinks it's important enough to wake you up to tell you that the thing on your wrist is a watch. Over and over again... until you are wide awake. And then he goes back to sleep.

5. When the songs that are constantly stuck in your head have choruses like:
"Lots of words begin with the letter B! Open a book! How many words do you see? Beginning with the letter B."

4. When your Youtube playlist consists of titles like "Rubber Duckie Monster Truck Colors".

3. When you start to worry because no one storms into the bathroom to interrupt you while you are trying to do a #2.

2. When a "fantastic meal" is any one that you can actually finish in the restaurant without worrying about yelling, crying, or having to apologize to random strangers getting hit in the face with a flying lego.

1. When you have this little creature that is sick as hell, coughing constantly, and sneezing snot rockets everywhere staring at you with outstretched arms that say "Daddy, pick me up." ...and you know that if you do, you are gonna get sick as hell too, and it's going to ruin your life for the next two weeks... but you still do it anyway; because you know that little creature is your little creature, and if it makes him feel better- even just for a minute- it's totally worth it.