Blazing a Hollywood Trail: Intimacy Coordinator Rachel Flesher

With Rachel Flesher- an international intimacy coordinator whom I graduated from stunt school
with back in 2011.  

So, it's not that often that I use this blog to write about other people; but every once in a while you get to spend time with someone who is doing something that's so unique that just worth writing about. In this case, the person is question is Rachel Flesher, a friend of mine whom I graduated stunt school with back in 2011. While teaching fight choreography and Japanese weapons work at the Paddy Crean this past winter I had a chance to catch up with her, here what she was up to, and actually take a few classes from her in a field I had never even heard of before: intimacy direction.

As aforementioned, Rachel graduated from stunt school with me 8 years ago, and also had a strong stage combat background, but in recent years, she had taken her training in a completely new direction, and was now doing intimacy coordination for Netflix and CBS. In hearing that she was doing this, in one respect I was surprised, but in another I could see the parallels:

- An action director’s job is to map out an action sequence to best tell the physical, action-oriented parts of a story, and to do so in a way that keeps the actors/stunt players safe.

- An intimacy director’s job is basically to map out sex scenes in the same way to make sure that no one is getting traumatized or taken advantage of. 

While an action director maps out the course of the action and how the camera will be used for it, the stunt coordinator’s job is to work with the stunt people themselves to make sure that everyone is communicating well and that everything is done in a way so that no one is harmed. 

While a stunt coordinator's job is to make sure that a stunt performance runs smoothly with no physical injuries
an intimacy coordinator's job is to make sure of the same things in intimate scenes with no emotional abuses or injuries. 

An intimacy coordinator’s job again is to do the same thing; to work with the actors to make sure boundaries are set, expectations are met, and consent has been properly granted for every step of the way- so that both parties can relax and do their jobs without feeling like they are being taken advantage of- by either their partner or the director.

While one might question the need for such a position (in contrast to stunts where people can get seriously physically hurt), it’s important to remember just how mentally traumatizing film work can be and for all the same reasons. At the end of the day, the director just wants the shot, and oftentimes, they are willing to go to any lengths to get it. For example telling a small child that his dog has died in order to get him or her to cry, or like in the Alien movies when actors were suddenly sprayed with animal blood with no forewarning to get a "real" reaction.  

In the same way that you wouldn’t want to ask a war veteran with PTSD to re-live a scene of getting shot at or watching his friend die, you also wouldn’t want to ask a person who has been raped, sexually abused or molested to re-live something similar without forewarning and the proper mental preparation. This is particularly true because so many people can carry sexual trauma without being open about it. 

While I was only able to take a few classes on it, I got to work with both Rachel and Alicia Rodis, both of whom work with and represent Intimacy Directors International. The perspective Rachel (coordinator) and Alicia (director) offered was absolutely fascinating; and applicable to not just intimacy direction, but stunt work and just better dealing with people in general. There was a lot of discussion on things like the difference between permission and consent. (Permission is given from someone from above like the director, and consent is given by the person engaging in the act themselves)and how to best get everyone into a mental space where they can open up to portraying intimacy organically without anyone being coerced for forced into something they don't want to do. I am a huge fan of life-long education, and I found this really enlightening. It was also fascinating because it's such a new field or set job, but it makes so much sense that you wonder why it was never there in the first place. But this is exactly the challege for Rachel and the others working in this field- they are creating it, defining it, and standardizing it as they go. I would encourage anyone who works in entertainment to learn what they can about this; I also applaud Rachel for her amazing work and look forward to the chance that I can work with her in the future.

More on Rachel and her work:
http://www.kokandyproductions.com/rachel-flesher/
https://www.writerstheatre.org/rachel-flesher-biography
Intimacy Directors International