Rebuilding from the Ground Up

A shot of me at 88kg, 5 years ago, before my son was born
and injuries had gotten the best of me. 

So, after dropping the first YT vid of this year, 36 Weapons of the Human Body, I was really happy to discover that I still actually had a few fans out there. A few people had made comments like "Welcome back!" and "Finally! I've been waiting for forever for your next video!". These kinds of things (and honestly these people) are the ones that have motivated me to get back to it, and it was incredibly refreshing and energizing to hear.

Taking stock of the past 5 years in general, it occurred to me just how much I had really lost. I lost my kidney function, my white blood cell count, my shoulder, my knee, both parents, my dog, and my home in the states... and that's just the things I am willing to talk about publicly. In short, I've been a mess. Add in trying to take care of a toddler, and a company in its infancy in a foreign country, and the mess gets even messier. To be honest, the past few years felt like I was trying to drive a 4-cylinder car with only 2 cylinders firing and a wheel missing.  It occurred to me that I'm not doing anyone any good- my son, my company or myself- if I'm performing or operating at less than my best.

The things that are gone, are gone, and I can't get them back; but there are also plenty of positives on the horizon as well. I went to the doctor last week for a physical, and he said my kidneys are back to full function. Thanks to getting my IHP cert, and discovering functional fitness training, I feel the strongest I have been in a decade. We were also finally able to get my son into a government backed nursery school and that will drastically cut the family bills. The private one he is in now has been like paying for a second apartment, and with that and concern expense now gone, and I have a lot more leeway (mentally and financially) to focus on driving forward.

All that being the case, it's time to rebuild. Rebuilding my YT channel and fanbase is one goal of this year. Rebuilding my body, getting back to how I used to look, and getting all my physical skills back is another. As far as the company itself goes, the next goal will be rebuilding and redesigning the action training program. We are supposed to have 3 areas of operation: Film, Stunts and Martial Arts. The martial arts program (ie Taekwondo) is still going, and has basically been carrying the company; but with everything happening in the past few years, the film action program has suffered the most. Despite that, it's something that I still believe in and it's time to make it work the way it should. Going off of the relative success of the TKD program, much like my YT channel and my body, I feel like it's time to rebuild it from the ground up. The next step after that will be getting the film production side off the ground, so that hopefully myself and this company will be firing on all cylinders, by the end of this year.

When I was in my early teens, my Dad gave me an old framed copy of the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling, that his Dad had given to him. He said if he ever wasn't around, and I felt lost, to refer to it, and use it to find my way. In this case, I am channelling the second verse:

If you can dream- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you have spoken,
twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools; 

This is me now rolling up my sleeves and picking up my worn-out tools. Onwards and forwards.