Rebuilding my left arm... among other things

Rebuilding my left arm

My right arm at my normal size

My left arm after partial atrophy
before I started rebuilding it. 

So after getting over the whole EB virus thing, I figured I was good and in the clear for the rest of this year. The doctor had warned me that  my immune system had been seriously compromised in the fight, and told me to take it carefully, and insomuch I as I thought, I was. Sure, every once in a while I could see signs of the weakened state peaking its ugly head out (like the cold-sores-just-from-biting-my-lip thing I mentioned in the last blog) but for the most part, after a month or two, I felt like I was back at 100% in terms of fitness, strength, stamina, etc.

Needless to say, I was pretty surprised when I found out that I tore a rotator cuff in my shoulder just putting on a jacket back in March. As it didn't really hurt at the time (it just kind of "popped") for a while I didn't think anything of it. As time worn on however, a slight discomfort started to develop in certain ranges of motion, and that gave way to pain... And loss of flexibility. Speaking with my Moms on the phone about it, (a retired doctor of occupational a medicine who works on work related inuries), she suggested that it was a rotator cuff tear, and sure enough she hit the nail on the head. By the time I figured out what the issue was for sure though (after finding an incredibly good physical therapy place in Futakotamagawa that I will blog about later), I was down to about 40% flexibility, and raising my arm above my head was almost impossible.
To make matters worse, while flexing the muscles for the wifey at the dinner table one night, she gasped, and told me something that neither one of us had noticed until then. Because I had almost completely stopped using it, my left arm had actually partially atrophied and SHRUNK. Hmmm... How can I put this....NOT COOL. If the there was any physical attribute that I had always taken the most pride in, it was the size and form of my arms. The size of my arms are what made me "look like a fighter" and now all of a sudden, they were uneven. (To see what I mean, check out the size difference in this vid.

First time for everything I guess!

With that, I set up an appointment at the physical therapy clinic that originally diagnosed the issue and they told me that basically, the issue was that after the Rotator Cuff tear, there was bleeding within the tissue. And the less I used my arm, the more that gave that loose blood a chance to solidify and harden into a scar inside my shoulder. While the scar could be softened with time, it would take at least 6 months of stretching and massages to get my full range of motion back.

Now after 5 months, they have made good on their word, and I am back up to about 90% flexibility with just a few more sessions to go, and no surgery required. Although there is still a slight size difference (and major strength difference) between both arms, I had recently started weight training again, and am confident that by the end of the year, I could have them equaled out...and have a better looking stomach chiseled out in the process.

For the first time since last year, I was looking forward to being fully back at 100% health... That is until this past Monday when I sprained my knee in a game of capture of the flag. Now I'm on crutches for the first time since I was a kid, and going through rehab for both my shoulder and knee at the same time. Not exactly the kind of set-back I had hoped for, but as far as Im concerned, it is still nothing more than that- a setback.

As the EB virus infection was the very first thing to happen when I returned to Tokyo at the start of the year, something told me that this was going to be a hard year with a lot of battles to fight. Thus far, it is turning out to be just that. Although there have been some cool victories (Such as Mars and I getting our new place) between the initial infection, the shoulder injury, a problem with the joints in one of my fingers that took a few months to get past and now the knee issue (and a resulting injured calf muscle that I just found out about today) this is turning out to be the most physically difficult year I've ever had.

At the same time though, strangely enough I can't say that I mind. It's kind of like when you are in the ring, and you can feel so many different parts of your body hurting, and you're exhausted, and your heart is racing, but you know that fighting that battle to carry on, (and other ones like it) is what defines you. It's that kind of experience that makes you, you, and overtime it's that feeling that becomes the source of your fearlessness and your invincibility. Overtime, every kind of battle and struggle that you face only reminds you of one thing: that you have won before and you can do it again... and that every one will make the next one easier to win. Yes, being on crutches sucks, but it doesn't suck as much as the first time when I was kid. (I was run over by a car the day before my birthday).

Furthermore, if I can rebuild my arm, then I can rebuild my damn leg too. My 35th birthday is about a week away, and I have no intention of still being on crutches by then. Furthermore, with only a few months left in this hard year, my dear readers, this is the declaration that I will make to you:

When 2014 starts, in one way or another, I will be the strongest that I have ever been.

And until that year starts, I will be working my ass off, and enjoying this fight. As the goo-goo dolls said in Iris, sometimes "you have to bleed just to know you're alive".