Sh*t I say (in Japanese)

So after spending almost a year now writing about all the Sh*t my Japanese Wife Says, I thought it might be an interesting change of pace to write all about the things I say myself when trying to stumble my way through Japanese. Lord knows I make just as many mistakes as she does when speaking in English. The following list is just a few of them:

1. Confusion point:
Meikaku = Clarity
Meiwaku = Trouble

My mistake: (While giving advice to a friend) "Careful. That kind of behavior causes clarity".
気をつけてよ。ああいう行動は、明確がかかる。

2. Confusion point:
Irai suru - To request
Ira ira suru - To become irritated

My mistake:  (While on the phone) "Understood. I'll contact my boss and become irritated immediately.
分かりました。上司に連絡をしていらいらします。

3. Confusion Point:
Yopporai - Drunk
Futsu ka yoi - Hungover

My mistake: (While training under the Japanese national taekwondo team coach)
I'm sorry I'm not performing at my best, coach. I'm really really drunk right now.
先生、よく出来なくてすみません。今とてもよっぱらってる。

4. Confusion Point:
Kawaii - cute
Kowai - scary

My mistake: (While meeting my cousin-in-law's newborn baby girl).
"Well that has to be the scariest little girl I've seen in a long time."
あの子はとても怖いですね。

5. Confusion Point:
Arateru- To be washing (one hands, dishes)
Awateru- To be in a flurry or lose one's mind

My mistake: (While speaking to houseguests)
"Please make sure you are losing your mind before we eat. "
夜ご飯食べる前に慌てて下さい。

6. Confusion Point:
Hikidashi- Drawers
Hikidasu- Withdrawals

My mistake: (While talking about furniture)
 "Mars, I really wanna get some withdrawals for the bedroom."
ベッドルームの為に引き出すを買いましょう。

7. Confusion Point:
Nureteru- Wet / Nurui- Lukewarm
Yurui- Loose

My mistake: (While assembling a picnic table in the backyard)
"Damn it! No matter how hard I screw it, it just stays super wet!"
(Had to wonder what the neighbors who heard me thought of that one)
今超ハードでするでもまだぬれてる、じゃん！

*The funny thing about this one was that when I said "Wet",I was trying to conjugate Nurui, (which actually means lukewarm) but in wrongly changing the form of the word, it completely changed the meaning. I was just wrong on both fronts, lol.