Sh*t my Japanese Wife Says 6

1. (While walking down the street and humming to myself)
M: Are you singing that song again?
C: Which one?
M: the one from the Movie TED... The Flash Gordon- Savior-of-the-Uterus one.

2. (While listening to an old tape I found).
M: I love old school rap! Is this Nutritious B.I.G.?

3. (Over Dinner)
C: Mars, sometimes I think you've got me wrapped around my finger.
M: What does that mean?
C: It means you have perfect control. Actually, the expression is thousands of years old. It comes from Old English Falconry.
M: Wait, Falcons are real?? I thought someone made them up for Final Fantasy...

4. (While the Metallica video for ONE on YouTube- she walks in) 
Who are these guys? They all look like Keifer Sutherland with long hair.

5. (On the good ol' days)
So, when you were younger did you ever go those old school roller coaster rinks?

6. (On life in Tokyo)
C: Shibuya was crazy today. Seems like throngs of dudes were just coming out everywhere!
M: What?! Were they arrested??
C: Why would they be arrested?
M: Because you can't do that in public.
C: Do what?
(She gestures).
M: No dude!! Not shlongs of dudes, THRONGS of dudes!
C: Ah, okay... Sorry, I'd never heard the word before.

7. (On my attitude)
Chuck, stop being such an ego-testicle!

8. (On people who need to relax)
M: That guy is so anal. Somebody needs to give him an enigma.
C: You mean Enima?
M: Yeah, whatever.

9. (On R & B artists)
How do you say Donguri in English?
Acorn.
Oh! like the singer?
No dude, that's Akon.
 (Aparently, they are spelled the same in Japanese).

10. (On Hollywood)
Wanna get a movie tonight?
Sure, how about The Hangover Games?

11. (On Irritating People)
She really pushes my nerve hairs backwards!
(She rubs me the wrong way).