2) While watching QVC with my Moms...
M: Why does the saleswoman keep talking about midgets.
C: When did she mention midgets?
M: She keep saying “This shirt won’t show your midgets.” (She points at her at their stomach).
C: Ah,that’s called your Midriff. Not midgets, lol.
3) While showing her “Baby Got Back” for the first time...
M: Is he talking about Hot Dog Buns or Hamburger Buns?
4) While trying to use new English phrases:
M: You know what they say… “Never give a horse a blow-job.”
C: Never look a gift-horse in the mouth.
M: Yeah, whatever. You know what I mean.
5) Also, while still trying to use new English phrases:
C: Mars, do you think it will be sunny enough for a swim this afternoon.
(She looks out at the clouds outside).
M: Don’t hold your breasts.
6) While driving in Michigan, and passing a sign that says "Watch Batteries":
M: What about the batteries do we need to watch for?
7) While changing over money at the airport in Michigan:
C: Check it out, babe. There’s a new $100 bill.
M: Why, was there too much fornication?
C: Forgery.
M: Whatever. You know what I mean.
8) While watching rap videos:
M: What was the name of the guy Eminem’s Rap God Video was done after? Harry Anderson?
C: Max Headroom
M: Oh, that’s right.
C: Where in the hell did you get Harry Anderson from??
9) While listening to a radio commercial about Tecomseh, Michigan:
C: I’ve never been to Tecomseh.
M: Come see what?
C: Tecomseh.
M: What are you gonna come see?
C: Tecomseh, dude. It’s a place name.
M: To come see where?? Stop being so damn confusing!!
10) While talking about back in the day...:
C: Like most guys my age, when I was a kid, I loved He-man.
M: You loved what??
C: He-man. He was an action hero with a big sword.
M: You can’t name an action hero after that!
(I stop and think about it).
C: No dude, HE-man, not Hyman!
11) While watching an interview of Neil Patrick Harris:
M: Is that Doctor Police Box?
C: No, that’s not Dr. Who. Different doctor. He played Doogie Houser, MD.
M: You sure? I still think he was Dr. Police Box...
12) While feeling nauseous...:
M: Do we have any Alcatraz?
C: Alka-seltzer.
M: I still can't find the Arkansas.
C: Alka-seltzer.
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